


The Void Of Gender

by Haberdasher



Category: Original Work
Genre: Agender Character, Gen, Gender Identity, Genderqueer, Nonfiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-16
Packaged: 2019-09-23 22:43:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17089139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Haberdasher/pseuds/Haberdasher
Summary: My thoughts on my gender, or rather, my lack thereof.





	The Void Of Gender

Some people describe their gender in fanciful terms. They say, perhaps jokingly, that their gender is the sparkle of a distant star, or a cloud-filled sunset, or the heaviness in the air before it rains.

Some call such flowery descriptions silly and absurd, but their descriptions of gender fall back on their own cliches, strange to the critical eye. They outline gender with the colors blue or pink, the cut of a skirt or a tuxedo, the length of hair.

Some criticize those norms in turn, saying that gender is none of those things, that it all comes down to a certain kind of feeling, a knowledge deep down about who you are.

As for me…

My gender is a void, a big black hole where society tells me something should be, an emptiness that will never be filled.

I don’t claim to know the answers here; I am in fact less able to answer than most. Most people at least have one data point when it comes to gender, know how it is to feel one particular kind of gender. I have no data, no understanding of what it is to feel that way. Gender is just a word, a term that I once thought, based on what others impressed upon me, must apply to me somehow, but when I looked for that “feeling” nothing was there.

I am not blue, or pink, or purple. I am no color at all. I am off the scale- I am on a different plane of existence than the scale.

And that doesn’t change based on what clothes I wear, or what name I go by, or how long my hair is.

I am the abyss, and that is not going to change.


End file.
